Average girl, average days
First off--Find out where the clitoris is

Second of all--you don't look like Brad Pitt so quit acting like you.

Don't pick your ass or scratch your nuts in public.

Don't fart during sex.

Say please and thank you even if you don't mean it--after all us women are rather dumb and easily fooled--or so we want you to believe

when you asked us what's wrong and we say nothing--that means your in big trouble and don't ask for that blow job or that meal.

Fuck you!! cook for us for a change--oh yeah men don't know how to cook!

You can't dance so don't try

Don't talk--you always sound stupid

Don't talk to your friends about our sex life--it's not a glorious as you make it out to be!

Let us dress you, cause you certainly can't!

Learn to read, write and most of all LISTEN. You were born with ears for more than just listening to the football game.

We don't want to watch you and your buddies grunt and groan over Tony Hawk. We'd rather do the grunting and groaning with Tony Hawk.

Viagra is not sexy.

If you want oral sex, how about you get the boxer or towel fuzz off it first. YUCK!

Exercise won't kill ya!

Sorry if this pisses any guys off. I love guys, you're great and most clueless. Let's just admit, women know what men want, we just don't feel like doing it. Men really do know what women want they're just too lazy. The battle of the sexes is so refreshing!


Comments
on Jun 14, 2004
You watch too many sitcoms.

~Sarah
on Jun 14, 2004
actually I don't! I don't have TV. This is all based on personal experiences...I haven't dated that many guys either. I know most guys are like that, but this post is in response to the relationship advice for girls article, you should read that one as well.
on Jun 14, 2004
You can't dance so don't try


I resent that remark wholeheartedly.... you obviously haven't seen the Mug Man bust it on the dancefloor!!! one of my favorite places in the whole world!!!

Let us dress you, cause you certainly can't!


This, I agree with!!! Touché!!!

BAM!!!
on Jun 14, 2004
Find out where the clitoris is

actually i think the first step should be finding out WHAT it is

nyuknyuk!

seriously, it dont require any special exploration equipment. ">

from what i hear, im guessing much more effort should be put into learning the art of helping yall to appreciate the clit's full potential...as well as zeroing in the g-spot (no virgil, it dont have a thing to do with g-strings and you dont need gps location device)
on Jun 15, 2004
Mentally, I love you for writing this article. It is pretty much dead on. However, I personally would not have started the tutorial on women at the clit. It tends to put out a messege that women just want sex, and no one would believe that. Isnt that the guys gig.

Sincerly,
a woman with special needs..............
on Jun 15, 2004
Good for you MUGGAZfor standing up for yourself and all men who can dance.
Sincerly,
A woman who does not dance.
on Jun 16, 2004
Sorry Mug Man, it takes a special kinda man to bust on the dance floor

I just got a kick out of the clit comment on the ladies' list, so I thought I'd start out with that! Most women don't want just sex, but it sure helps to love a guy who knows how to love your you know what!
on Jun 16, 2004

If you want oral sex, how about you get the boxer or towel fuzz off it first. YUCK!


And the stray hairs as well.....


Never underestimate the power of the clit, either........if you can master that, I'm pretty much putty in your hands.

on Jun 16, 2004
actually i think the first step should be finding out WHAT it is. seriously, it dont require any special exploration equipment. ". from what i hear, im guessing much more effort should be put into learning the art of helping yall to appreciate the clit's full potential...as well as zeroing in the g-spot (no virgil, it dont have a thing to do with g-strings and you dont need gps location device)


more people should listen to you, king. as funny as you are, you have a very good point. i wanted to write an article on this, but i'm too embarrassed hehe. but you're so right. most people, even women, think the clitoris is the size of a pea !. some men damn near puke when they find out that the sucker has legs !!!!!.

good article, greenfarie. i applaud you for your nerve

mig

XX

ps: muggy can dance. he's a regular little dancefloor mr-fancy-pants, aren't you, muggy precious ?
on Jun 16, 2004
muggy can dance. he's a regular little dancefloor mr-fancy-pants, aren't you, muggy precious ?


I have the fanciest pants in the land... It's only appropriate I bust them on the dance floor!!!



BAM!!!