Love

Published on June 11, 2004 By greenfarie In Personal Relationships

Love does exist, don't think it doesn't. Don't look for it either because it'll come to you just like dirty laundry. And then you have to wash off the dirt from the last one and then soften it at the same time you dry and iron out the wrinkles. Love really does make you forget your every day chores, such as your dirty laundry! The first time I fell in love, I hit my head a little to hard because when it was done, not because of my doing, I thought I had permanent brain damage. I couldn't function--so I married someone I didn't have any feelings for. Eventually, after 4 years I woke up thanks to some so special "Bob." He was a friend of mine for several years and had had fantasies about me I guess, but of course I was married. He fantasized about my husband letting him tape us having sex. Shit! He should have asked, but then I would have ended up fucking him instead. Oh wait! That is what happened, not the whole videotaping thing, just me fucking him. He was a virgin and I made sure he wanted to. I do use the word fuck an aweful lot, sorry...Anyway, I'm currently divorcing my current husband. He's fat and ugly inside and out. He's not a father or a husband. He felt once he had me married to him, he could ignore me. He wouldn't even kiss me during sex. Very distant and depressed I think. A video game addict does not a husband make. It makes a fat, stupid, depressed 23 year old that can't figure out why their wife has left them. DUH!! We have a child, did you notice??? No I didn't think so...Too bad for you cause now I'm happy

For the first time in years, I feel good again and I feel like myself. It's so bad, when you miss yourself. I feel like I've met a new friend. Hello Serena, it's great to see you again!

We'll keep in touch, I'm sure...

Comments

mikimouse

on Jun 11, 2004

Wow. Nice to see you thinking of yourself and leaving your kid one parent short. Pardon my seemingly angry mood but it sure sounds like your judgement is as good as s**t. Must be nice to be able to walk away from responsibilities like that. With all your comments about your husband I'd have to say you're a moron for marrying him. Poor guy.

dharmagrl

on Jun 11, 2004

*sigh* Todd-er, that was a bit blunt. I'd tend to agree with the underlying sentiment, but really....you could have gone a bit easier, don't you think?

Honey, you're leaving your "fat and ugly inside and out" "fat stupid depressed 23 year old" husband for a guy who "fantasized about (your) husband letting him tape (you) having sex"...WTF??! Sounds to me (no offence) like you're substituting one loser for another.

greenfarie

on Jun 14, 2004

Yeah it would appear so to some, it's not like he told me about the fantasy until we were going out for a while. Had he said something while I was still with my husband, I would have been offended. The thing is, I've been raising our child for the last 2 and half years by myself. When my son goes to dad's house he doesn't come back talking about daddy he talks about daddy's room mate. He doesn't want to see daddy, he wants to see daddy's room mate. This is hard for me as daddy's room mate is a guy. They're not gay I can assure you of that (or at least I think so). I'm a full time college student and I also work. I don't need to be babysitting a 23 year old. What kind of husband is satisified with making 7.50 an hour? Granted money is not that important, but when the bills are getting paid and the power and the phone is getting shut off there's a serious problem. Sorry i didn't want to stay married to someone who's first comment of the day is bitching about something as stupid as "why are the noodles cut?" I fucking made you dinner isn't that good enough?? Anyway, I'm just trying to get by in life, and please don't think that I don't care about my son. He didn't have a father before and at least now he can see a decent relationship and have 2 people to take him somewhere that want to spend time with him. In this day and age, you can still be a father and not be blood related. It's the time and effort that matters, not whats in the genes.

someone called Nick a poor guy. I laugh so hard at that. If only you knew him. I asked for him to get help or counseling to try and fix the marriage 6 months before I left. He didn't do a damn thing. If he had cared, he would have tried. All I can say is that I'm glad that at least now that I've left, he's realized he needs to get his ass in gear. He's snapping out of whatever was going on in his head. Some people just work out, and it's not because they're bad people. Nick really wasn't that bad. A lot of what I say is truthful but yet said in anger. There were good times.

I do sometimes feel guilty about having left my marriage. Marriage is suppose to be lasting and I guess I figured that things would work out over time and I really did want our son to have 2 parents. I'd rather my son see a happy relationship than a cold one with 2 parents that don't care about each other. That is not a marriage.

Dune

on Jun 14, 2004

I love the way you wrote your article... is it ok that it made me laugh? Your ex sounds like a wanker, and you don't have to justify your choices, just blog away

Btw, was the guy that your'e with now an old, old friend? What I mean is, are you sure about him or are you out of the frying pan and into the fire?

greenfarie

on Jun 14, 2004

You know there are times when I wonder the same thing, but no I don't think so. I have known this person and been good friends with him for approx. 5 years now. We click up in the brain area and the other attraction came later. We're both older adults now, and we both realize we're too young to waste our life playing stupid games and we're also too old at the same time. We're taking things very slowly.

Thank you for not taking my article too seriously. I'm sure more people have gone what I'm going through. It takes a lot of guts to finally say "Hey! I'm not happy" and not feel guilty about it. I know marriage doesn't lusty and romantic, but there has to be some level of maturity.

I have no plans to marry anytime soon or if ever again.

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